Leave the situation, change the situation or accept it, all else is madness” – Eckhart Tolle
Victimhood or Warrior?
I thought I was the coolest kid in town
With this knowledge I would always see the light at the end of the tunnel. And I’d ran towards it. I believe this is also the reason why I chose spirituality over religion, and why I believe that in the end, the light will always prevail.
But what if you made a different decision as a child, maybe unconsciously? What if something in your childhood happened and you made this mean that this is the end, that the world is an inherently bad place and people are horrible?
If you made this decision you probably get (or already got) stuck in a state of victimhood for the rest of your life – no matter if life is bringing you good things, or not. You most likely hold on to all the stories of people who’ve done you wrong and you can’t let go until you’ve gotten justice.
The only problem is, that there is no such thing as ‘real’ justice. This was one of the most difficult things for me to understand and to accept because deep down we all want justice.
Of course, why else do we have a system of justice in place to help with that? But if we are being honest, in most places around the world it’s not doing a good job, does it?
I could talk about justice for hours (and may write another letter about it exclusively) but the point is that when we are stuck in a state of victimhood we are holding on to things that are so outside of our control (like justice) that we bleed all of our energy into the abyss. You could also just pour it down the drain.
We also carry the baggage of shame and resentment and anger with us that may have us break down under the heavy load after carrying it for a long while.
Most people in that state though are unwilling to let go of these things because they feel like they have a right to be angry and receive justice.
And of course, you do. 100%. The problem with this is, that this expectation is poisoning you – not the person you want justice from. They have no idea (and most likely couldn’t give less fcks!) how much impact it still has on you…
Victimhood is a dark place because it makes us blind to the light. It makes us blind to the kindness in this world, to the good people and the abundance around us.
Victimhood is a dark place
Besides, I survived that kidney stuff so why would some headaches hold me back in life? I may have only been 4 years old but I already made a conscious decision that, no matter what, I will win this game called life.
But I made a decision to be the warrior, and I wouldn’t step back from that. Ever.
It takes hell to put me into victimhood and keep me there …although we all have our days where we feel like a victim. And then there are times when we have actually been made a victim and are going through the process to get back into power. That’s different though.
Victimhood is drowning you in a sea of blame, shame, guilt and resentment
It’s not personal development or hustling or having to “man up”. No.
It takes a lot of grace, forgiveness for oneself and patience as well as taking responsibility for one’s own life in the here and now. Responsibility does not mean it is your fault what happened – it means to change how you deal with what happened in the future and take your power back.
Therapy can be a great help, and if that’s not for you and there are other methodologies you can try. The most important thing is, that you don’t give up on yourself, on the world and especially, don’t give up on the light.
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